Jun 10, 2010 1
About Expectations and Disappointment
The last couple of months were quite stressful. I tried to combine a lot of things into limited time. Working full time, taking two courses at university (a full-time student would take three), singing in a band, an opera choir, taking singing and occasional dancing lessons, attending conferences.
In the beginning of June, I expected, I would be very happy and a little proud of myself: I would have managed to do it all, I would have successfully completed my uni courses. Times of little sleep would would be over – or at least more sparse. I would no longer be called a visitor in my own home.
Joy is always in the forecast.
Turned out that I was a bit too much/little perfect(ionist) to be happy.
- I got a B in one of the exams, not necessarily because I didn’t know the matter, but because I wasn’t focused and talked about structure rather than content, mainly. So I was unhappy about the B, rather than happy about finishing. Also because the teachers said they’d expected more from me.
- The teachers saw my frustration and called me in again, offering me to raise an objection. They meant I could argue that, at the exam, I wasn’t able to show what I can. In the end I agreed to re-take the exam. Which was in itself frustrating, because I couldn’t let go, and despite being tired and exhausted, I would have to study for another week. This time I would make sure not to make a fool of myself.
- The exam was supposed to be this morning. Yesterday afternoon I got an email from my teacher that she had found out that raising an objection isn’t possible in my case, re-taking the exam wasn’t an option.
Expectations just didn’t meet outcomes.
On a side note, if anyone needs flash cards with summaries of papers on CSCW, let me know..